Criticism from the Net: Shirtlessness is wickedness

There is no doubt that there are many who, for reasons perhaps linked to image insecurity, childhood trauma or misplaced adherence to modesty, are bitterly opposed to shirtless running. Here's an excerpt from an article (this is the link to the original, but it has since been removed) viciously attacking those of us who dare to bare:

As students leave their last classes of the day, something inside them changes — they slip off their veils of poise, and they become entirely different people from the dedicated and caring students they were only moments before...

These students do not intimidate prostitutes and murder pedestrians... Rather, they commit a far more egregious act against the humanity on UT’s campus. I am, of course, referring to the practice of shirtless jogging.

If you are eating at this time and are prone to nausea, I advise you put away this article for continuation after full digestion. With this precursor, I will now attempt to describe, to the best of my ability, the horror and torment of male shirtless jogging: Glistening ape hair, plastered by sweat to the flab that undulates precariously up and down, then up and down again. The arms flail wildly to the side, sending spurts of sweat pelleting passers-by in their faces with a resounding “smack!” And should you happen to be downwind from the olfactory producer’s galumphing, you would choke on the stench and collapse to your knees, hands grasping your throat in desperate attempt to survive without severe brain damage. But, of course, I understate.

- from 'Objective Observations with Benjamin Miller' (updated Nov 4 2008) as published in the The Daily Texan Online


It's an amusing read, don't you think?

When too long shirted...

It's been a month now since I've hit my route in just shorts and shoes: I've just been too busy. As a result, I've noticed a peculiar mental phenomenon.

When I consider the prospect of heading out again, shirtless, there is an increasing sense of apprehension. From this, I have to conclude that those of us who want to go barechested need to keep up the practice, in order to keep away the cobwebs of 'shyness' or embarrassment. Some of it has a certain basis in logic: If we cease to exercise for too long, our bodies become flabbier. But this is multiplied in the mind, until we become paralysed with uncertainty.

I'll be squeezing out time for a shirtless run by next week, before I'm unable even to strip to the waist without being overwhelmed by doubts.