From the Internet: 'The shirtless coalition'

(This article by NITMOS first appeared in the blog Feet Meet Street in June 2009. It then appeared in The Runner's Lounge).

I’m going to use this format as my way of coming out of the closet. The clothes closet, that is. Or, in this case, the no clothes closet. I’m not talking about streaking. I’m talking about the distinctly male issue of whether or not it’s okay to go shirtless on a summer day’s run.

I’ve seen a recent up tick of blog posts about this topic and the general theme is, no, a man shouldn’t run sans top. It’s considered bad form. It’s cocky. It’s frowned upon. Well, I’m announcing that, on warm summer days, I run without my shirt.

I’m here. I’m shirt-free. Deal with it.

The shirtless male runner is one of the few prejudiced-against groups remaining in the United States these days. Nobody - and I mean nobody - has it worse than us. And we’re tired of it. Though we wear no shirt, we have every right to the road edges and sidewalks. Though you can see the glistening pools of sweat on our chests and treasure trails, we are entitled to a friendly passing runner greeting. If we stumble and fall over a popped-up slice of concrete, do we not bleed?

Do the folks who condemn the shirtless male runner also condemn a shirtless female runner? I think not. No, they encourage it. Double standards!

I know, I know, you are probably thinking, ‘Nitmos, of course you are allowed to run shirtless. My God, those granite chiseled pecs!’ And I get that. When you hear “Beefcake!” shouted at you several times over the course of a leisurely, topless June run, you start to think you are immune to the scorn of the Anti-Shirt Choice establishment.

But I have to support my less well developed (or overly developed) bare-chested brethren (or sistern – really, we ALL encourage that.) We are HERE. We are SHIRT-FREE. DEAL WITH IT!

Have you ever felt the warm summer air pass over the dimpled convex bumps of your exposed areola?

Have you ever let the flood of chest sweat run unimpeded down to your gray running shorts, dampening them in a triangular pattern that makes it appear as if you’ve wet yourself?

Before you head out for a run, have you ever had to inspect your torso and shoulders for flaming, ripe whiteheads to explode (these reflect in the sun and blind passing drivers)?

If you answered No to any of these questions, quite simply, you haven’t lived.

Vote now to show your support for the shirtless runner. We are HERE. We are SHIRT-FREE. Deal with it.